


Poetry by a Cracked and Broken Soul

by bottombonnefoytrash



Category: Original Work
Genre: My Poetry, Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5778982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottombonnefoytrash/pseuds/bottombonnefoytrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*Disclaimer* This Poem is not about me wanting to hurt, or even kill myself. This poem is about me wanting my family to let go of fighting with each other, my life to turn right side up, and for me to find my Romeo. I'm not sorry that it is dark, that's just how I am on the inside. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Thank you.</p></blockquote>





	1. A Thousand Years

I could live for a thousand years,

If only I could feel your embrace,

And when I have a thousand fears,

To you I always race.

A thousand years, you've waited for me here,

A thousand years, this is where you've wasted.

After all this time, you're still my air,

After all this time, I still cry for joy.

One thousand years hasn't changed our love

for all we've known, we are the same as night and day.

You're still as gentle as a dove.

A thousand years I've waited for you

Only to have my wish come true.


	2. Deep Dark Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer* This Poem is not about me wanting to hurt, or even kill myself. This poem is about me wanting my family to let go of fighting with each other, my life to turn right side up, and for me to find my Romeo. I'm not sorry that it is dark, that's just how I am on the inside. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Thank you.

I've got this thing inside of me,

Its eating me up and devouring me whole:

and I just can't come out of this dark abyss:

Its where it all stems from

and I just can't climb out of this dark abyss:

I don't know where it came from,

I haven't been told.

Its just filling me up

'till I'm 'bout to explode

and I just cant hold it any longer

The Snap's gonna come.

From deep inside it leaks out

through my hand to the pen to the page

and it just comes out:

And people call it Dark,

and I call it Me,

to them it It,

and to me that's me being Free:

'Cause I'm just a big ol' jumble of personalities,

so that you can't tell me apart from anyone else

and I just blend in and I want to fit in

But I want to stand out,

to scream and shout:

I want to be good,

but I want to be free:

'Cause this deep dark abyss is just taking me in.

Its pulling me tighter and tighter into its chest,

and its soul is becoming my soul,

and it's distinguishing my light,

and I just want to shine bright.

But it's making me sad and,

its making me mad and,

I just want to stop the fight

because son against mother and sister and brother

is just not right;

Because Father and Daughter, and Mother and Son,

should just love each other and want to have fun!

But that's NOT how it is,

That's not what we do:

in this house its just a war zone,

all you have is your room,

And you can't come out because there's trouble about.

Sneaking, and Hiding, and lying

is what this place is about.

There's no truth to be told,

nothing to behold.

Once we were happy, together, and joyful,

but now we're fighting, hurting, and sad.

This is not what I want,

I don't want to be crazy,

I want to be normal.

But nobody even listens to a word I say,

All the love here is forced,

when we actually bond we're told to stop.

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with them?

Nobody sees our true face because

we're forced to wear masks

Our faults scrutinized,

our achievements ignored.

They're all surprised when I have

The Plan

to do what I want,

but not in this Clan.

Because I want a life away,

I want to do what they couldn't,

I want to rise above and fly so far,

that when I see them again I don't know who they are.

Someone please help me out of this place!

Take my hand, pull me up!

Get me out of here!

I've just had enough!

I want to be loved,

I want to be free,

I just want to be happy,

Please set me free.


	3. You

You are shrouded in darkness,

While I'm encased in light.

I know who I am, but not you.

I have preferences, but not requirements.

I would love you forever, if only you returned the favor.

Because you are the Ying to my Yang,

The Up to my Down,

The Love to my Lonely

My Happiness in Life.


	4. Astray

A bridge unseen,  
A gap unheard.

Life to Death  
Breath to Breath  
Soul to Soul  
Patched to Broken hearts

Love to Hate  
Real to Fake  
Peace to War  
Family to Enemy 

You left this house,  
and we all went astray


	5. All I've Tried To Do

I haven't done this in a while.  
All I've tried to do is be happy and smile.

All I've tried to do is forget  
the bad and focus on the  
good.

When I forgot the bad,  
I forgot my gift.

It fills me with great sorrow  
that my gift has gone   
unused for so long,  
That I've denied it's usage  
for the year.

But with this it shall be revived.   
And it will not go unused again.


	6. The Walls Whisper Loudly

The walls would whisper loudly if they could,  
Telling the secrets that passed from ear to ear,  
Telling tales of love,  
hurt,  
and horror.

Of normality and and the abnormal.   
On sumptuous births,  
And tragic deaths.

The walls whisper loudly,  
You just have to listen  
to hear what they say.

To imagine the working cogs of  
The Past frozen in time.

The walls want to talk to you,  
Now listen. Listen to them


	7. Suicide In The Rain

I'm sitting here in the rain  
Talking myself into it,   
Reaching towards the poison.

I just don't know if I can do it,  
to end my misery  
But if I don't, I don't know what to do

This seems like the logical answer,  
I'm sure no one would miss me.  
'Cause that's what I've been told my whole life.

Oh, I've been bullied and hit  
I've been spit upon,  
and called worthless.

And I know no one would miss me  
No matter what I do  
To me this is the easiest way.

'Cause I'm sitting here in the rain  
Talking myself into it.  
Forcing down the poison.

I've finally ended my misery  
No one misses me  
I'm sure of that.

I'm lying here in the rain,  
and now I have direction  
I'm moving on to heaven.


	8. Winter Haiku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a haiku I had to do for school

Pitter patter of

The falling snow outside my

Windowpane softly.


	9. Terror

Terror. 

 

Stomach curdling heart stopping, breath frozen in your lungs terror.

Panic set in as hair stands on edge.

To pull another back... Back from the precipice.. back from the very same edge I have been on

You never know true terror until you've squared off with it, and fought it. 

Until you've fought it so you could be calm for someone when they need it most. 

So you can be a rock.

So you can pull them back and lift them up to the light.

But while you do that, you're slipping.

You're slipping back into the void, and closer to that edge, and you're frightened

Frightened you'll fall into it yourself, 

Frightened you'll fall off the edge.


	10. Mon Etoile Brilliante

Through the passion that drives me,

My love for you,  
Is as great and as vast as the cosmos.  
My love for you,  
Is as hard as Titanium,

My love for you,  
Fills my brain  
It makes me smile in a way I never have.

Move in a way that is so new to me

This love is a dance,  
Full of swirls and spins,  
Of leaps and bounds into each other's arms.  
You dip and lift me  
With my trust that you'll never drop me.

In our own gentle beat we sway,  
The melody lifting and soaring, only to calm in the wake of the crescendo.

Au revoir gives me a heavy heart,  
Even though I see you daily

Tu es mon etoile brilliante, mon amour, mon cher, et mon coeur.


	11. Amour

It is torture 

It is hope  
It is butterflies and stomach curdling.

Love makes your heart pound and ache.  
Love makes pain vanish and flare.  
Love makes your body flush, and freeze.

It breaks you.  
It builds you.  
It tears you to shreds and picks up the pieces.

Known by many names,   
It flows through life,  
And leaves it's mark on your soul.


	12. Distance and Flame

So close yet so far,  
What I want can not be reached.

 

A warm embrace,  
Time spent together,  
TIme spent forever.  
Over too soon.

Hope kindles and shatters over and over.  
Yet i am too scared to take the leap.

Too scared to start something again.  
Funny,  
I'm too scared,   
the brave one,   
the leader,  
the fearless one,  
Is hesitating,  
And letting her heart break.   
Because she needs him to be the one to reach for her.  
Because she doesn't want to always be reaching for someone that doesn't want her anymore.

Cold... so cold is the life She lives.  
He was her fire, Her warmth, Her light.  
But now the flame has left her,   
It has been taken from her grasp,   
and now she is left in the cold again,   
her heart turning to ice once more,   
as she swears the she'll never warm again for any other flame.

Maybe for any flame again.


	13. Loneliness

The thing about loneliness is that once you realize you're alone again, it hurts. 

That whole has formed a void in your chest again,  
it's chokes your throat up,   
And it brings tears to your eyes.

Even in a room of people, the one you want is so near yet so far and it hurts

It hurts so bad and I can't stand it,  
I can not stand it for one more minute so I write to keep from acting upon my desire,   
because I fear rejection.  
I fear his rejection most of all.


	14. Hello Darkness

Hello Darkness my old friend,

How I hate to see you again,

For seeing you means the light has gone,

And every time I'm enclosed in your painful embrace I become lost,

Lost with in the darkness,

But this time I fight,

I fight you Darkness,

I don't accept this pain,

I'm tired of pain,

And strife and disappointment,

For with you they're constant companions.

With you, Darkness, comes many a friend,

Many an unshed tear,

And many unspoken, unseen cries for help.

So to fight I numb

I numb myself to your pain,

Until I can feel again,

Until I can let myself feel again,

I can no longer trust

For I can not be me.

In a world where I should know better,

No one has taught me what I should know

Instead I am taught things that frustrate me,

Things that MIGHT help me when I've aged more.

WHy not teach me what I need to know now?

WHy let me endure this?

Why let my silence scream unwaveringly into the void of Darkness?


	15. Don't Forget About Me

don't you dare forget me

I am strong

I am powerful.

I and beauty

I am Grace 

And I sure as hell will punch you in the face.

Cross me

Just cross me and see what happens.

Cross me and learn wrath

Cross me and learn Loss.

Cross me and learn distance and cold.

Cross me and learn true fury.

I am a raging storm that never ends,

sheltering those close to me in my eye.

I will destroy you is you fall from my favor.

Ice pellets slashing your skin to shreds

Wind blowing through you, 

Bringing chill in it's wake.

Beware my calm, 

For with it comes a storm like no other, 

that few have seen.


End file.
